My friend James posted a link to an old post of mine that as I sit here in Victoria had me thinking.

I wonder how much further I have truly thought about these thoughts on creating community.

One of the things that i struggle with is reviewing the past. Whether it’s reading a book I have read once before or opening some old journals to see where I have come from. This is something that I have been poor at for most of my life. Everything seems to be centred around “new” or forward for me. Even as I look at my resolution from last year (to read 4 books a month, of which I believe I am only at 22/48) I can see my desire to keep moving forward to achieve, versus reflecting and learning from my experiences.

Our church has been through 3 months of transition. One of my goals for this holiday is to think through these past 3 months and learn from it. I am having a trouble reflecting, and I am wanting to try something new and forward.

I believe my desire to always move forward if harnessed well can be effective in visioning the future, but without an understanding of the past we will continue to make the same mistakes and never truly move forward. Our forward progress will always be met with resistance and probably 3 steps back for every 2 steps forward… and yes as a former engineer that is movement backwards, not forward.

I was thinking about Jeremy Williams on the Maple Leafs today and how he has scored 5 goals in 7 games since being called up from the minors and how in the past he has been called up 2 other times and has scored in the first game of each of the those call ups, and yet the Leafs continue to send him back to the farm team despite this fact.

I wonder how important the past is to him…

3 times up to the Leafs, 3 goals in 3 first games after each call up, and possibly 3 times sent back to the minors.

Or perhaps he lives in the moment. His understanding of the past is not that he keeps getting bad breaks, but instead he remembers how awesome it was to score a NHL goal of which thousands upon thousands of players never experience.

I wonder if I was to review the past I would feel a sense of bad breaks and failure. I wonder if I looked over an old journal post I would realize all I said I would do and haven’t.

I wonder if I read that book again I would remember some greats thoughts that would have come in handy a month ago and feel like a bad leader.

I wonder…

Perhaps that’s the problem.

My assumptions are killing me.

I wanted to let everyone know that this week will be a big one for the history of the open house.

On August 19th I am going to be sharing a vision to our church, which will lead us in an entirely new direction. For the past month I have felt a great peace about this direction and feel it is time to introduce it and begin moving in this new direction. Although our leadership team is on board with this new direction, I have felt God saying that unless a certain number of current members agree to move in this direction then we can’t go forward. I love this church and I really need the support of the people to go forward. I am going to ask them to not only agree to the vision, but agree to a greater commitment to the church and each other. We hope to hear from each person by the end of the month.

If you have been part of the open house in some way over the years I welcome you to join us. If you are a current participator I hope you will make this gathering a priority.

I am eventually going to share on this blog this new direction, but not until I have shared it with my church. So please pray and expect an post from me again at the end for the month with more details outlining what had happened.

Thank you all your prayers.

I just want to pass on that I have had new life these past couple months. To go along with this “life” has come a new vision and direction for toh. I am not sure how it will be received, but either way I am alive in ways I haven’t been in a long time. I will pass on my new ideas as soon as toh peeps hear it first.

It’s true that burnt out comes when you lose vision. Well vision also gives life and energy, and I am feeling it now.

more to come…