To say it had been a while since I had last written on this blog is to be generous. I had become so tired of reading, writing or even thinking about the topics normally reserved for this blog (spirituality, church[planting], christianity, culture, etc) that my last few posts had become short blurbs on books I had read. Many of which had little relevance on the topics mentioned above.

I had been wrestling with the purpose of this blog until I finally walked away from it in April. I was stuck in my thinking that I should write about the church, or should talk about spirituality or I should simply write on it. But by walking away from the blog (and a number of other things) I realized I did not want to write on it, I had nothing to say and it did not need to be kept up. I suppose it’s easier to give up writing when the number of readers are minimal and nobody is waiting on my next thought. But the truth is, everything I write on here becomes public and it might actually be read. And if it might be read then I want to write coherently and be prepared for push back. I wasn’t in that place then, but perhaps I am now.

It may be true that my second son (born in March) had something to do with making it easier to walk away from the blog, but the truth is much of what I believe about the Church, Christianity, and Spirituality has changed. My beliefs have changed quite a bit and I have some fear that my thoughts (that would be exposed in this blog), may actually lead to worry or concern by some of the readers when actually these changes have positively shaped my life, beliefs and my thoughts to date. I am always open to a challenge and a conversation, but I think prior to today I wasn’t as open as I thought, especially when you have an interesting conversation with some of your closest friends and instead of listening and exploring the thought they feel the need to make sure you’re still saved (especially when a thought is a thought and no more).

I didn’t write the above paragraph in order to share with you my new theology. I don’t have one. But what I am hoping to do on this blog is share some new ideas, thoughts and perhaps some real personal life stories that have shaped who I am to date. It is true that I used to be a church planter/ pastor of a church called the open house (website permanently down), but I am not that person that started that group in 2005 (and unofficially ended in 2010). I am a new person and although the church doesn’t meet, I am still highly connected to those people that I call my family.

So who am I right now? I am a father of 2 boys. I am married to a beautiful aquarius spirit who challenges the HELL out of me! I don’t “go” to church right now, but I still consider myself a Christian. I live in Vancouver, BC (for now), I work a normal job (somewhat in engineering) that allows me travel all over BC (I call it island hopping) and I play hockey weekly.

This is a true (all-be-it small) account of me… who are you?

I am 30 years old. Yes this is not new, in fact I am getting close to 31. And I am about to be a dad. (3 weeks from now). AND its 2009, ridiculous.

So my point is there is a lot of change going on in my life and in light of a post my friend James wrote a while back about determining the direction of his blog, I am beginning to ask myself the same question.

Is there anything you have appreciated about this blog?

Is there any specific topic that you would like me to cover more?

The truth is, I am not going to stop writing, as it is a great restful activity for me, but in light of these changes in my life and my desire to be more streamlined, I wanted to work through perhaps a new direction for this blog.

I was inspired reading jen lemen‘s blog today. Not necessarily because I connect with her writing, but I connect with her passion for stories, her commitment to her writing and her consistency in her stories.

Perhaps this blog will be nothing more than a venting, random space for me, but maybe with a little inspiration it will be give me and perhaps someone some life… I think that’s my hope for this blog… life.