The plan was to move to Victoria in order for me to not be away from the family as often. Well tonight I find myself in Saskatoon (been here since Sunday night), wondering what happened. And over the next 6 weeks I will be away for 3 of them (and in Red Deer no less). I went from being away over one night in the week, to being away for 4 nights every other week! Not terribly fun. And the truth is, being away is bringing about some demons. These demons called forced productivity. That if I am going to leave people behind, I better get a lot of work done.
I believe this is the battle for me these days; justifying the “need” to be productive. Especially when I am away. Almost as if “someone” is looking over my shoulder, whispering into my ear making sure I know that I am letting everyone down by traveling again. This is my battle… these voices, these ideas, these stories that run my productivity and pollute my mind.
I’d really like to get rid of these voices.
I’d really like to hear my own voice again.