Trying to find a new identity

I watched a short video from CTV on Canada and our national identity in light of the current olympics in Vancouver and something hit a chord with me. Maybe living here in Vancouver is the reason for its connection, but I have realized something about my life motivation, specifically in light of the church I started a short 4 years ago.

Something has happened to me over the years. I have learned a lot about myself, my motivation and my direction. But today I am a little stuck. I am in new territory. I have come through some larger issues, understandings and realizations only to find myself on the other side not knowing what’s next.

I had a great chat with another church planter friend yesterday, who more than anything else, allowed me to vocalize some of my current thoughts and stresses. It was in this time that I realized that I am officially in unchartered territory and the reason for this is that I no longer have a unifying idea of why I have done this in the first place. You see I have realized that my reason for starting this church in the first place was a “reaction” of sorts. It was a chance to start something originally canadian, and although that still may be true, the truth is I didn’t know what authentically canadian was due in part to a lack of examples and so I instead (perhaps unknowingly) decided to create something “anti” what I knew and struggled against.

I was never vicious, or blatantly against any one style, but instead found motivation from being different. And now I see all the methods, styles, types of churches, groups, gatherings very differently. I find goodness in them all, I find God in all of them and I am not sure if I know now what I am “for” after for so long being sure of what I was against. But today I am quite free from critique, but the funny thing is, this freedom has put me in a peculiar place.

In this video from CTV’s Steven Brunt he suggests that being sure of what we against as a national identity is changing.

And maybe Shane Koyczan said it best in his Opening Ceremony Poem…

“we are choices.”

And perhaps that is where I need to start;

…all over again.

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2 Responses to Trying to find a new identity

  1. ray woodard says:

    Enjoy the pigrimage..When I have been anti for a long period the journey back is often through reengagement with what was once so anti. Not sure that is where the journey will take you.

  2. Alastair says:

    Kyle, I’ve been meaning to comment on this post for a few days now. I think this is such a huge realization and I’m really excited to see where God takes you. It’ll be so interesting to see what happens on your journey as you begin and continue to define things by what they can be instead, rather than by what they shouldn’t be. As always, you’re in my prayers.

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