Expanding on commitment…
I began a conversation (or maybe a monologue, since this is a blog) about my rethinking of a lot of what I have done, specifically with the church and I thought it was time to write a little more. After spending a weekend with good friends, good food and an all around good time I have had time to think through this a little.
Nick made this comment in my last post (please continue the thoughts in the posts):
“…I sure struggle with this. So much of what I feel called to do, what I see Jesus doing, doesn’t come with security, won’t produce much you can point at, and may not justify my continued funding. I guess what it comes down to is whether or not we trust God. It’s even harder to figure out in a heuristic setting. Have I changed my mind because I gave in or gave up, or have I actually learned and grown into dreaming something better than when I started out? I suppose, when we’re quiet, we know the truth…”
These are great thoughts that are pushing me further.
I recently received a letter from my denomination asking about whether we were willing to “join” the denomination officially. I had to ask myself a few questions about what it means to belong. You see I thought we did belong, I was supported by them, we have been funded by them, they are my family, but it seems that unless we sign this covenant agreement we will always be welcome but on the outside. This was huge for me when I asked the question of our church. The reaction seems to be the same as it was for me. Didn’t we always belong? Can’t you tell that I care? Can’t you see that I am part of the family? Why do we need to agree to some exterior set of beliefs, or sign a card, or promise you something?
For those of you who grew up in church this may seem like a no-brainer, of course you need to join or be a member, it’s part of maturity. But I didn’t grow up in church, and the church that impacted my life never forced me to “join” they always treated me as if i did.
Now this isn’t a conversation about which is right, this about working through what it means to really belong. I have asked myself the question of whether people are on board all the time, and every time i do that I am slammed with how much they are! Why do I continually want some sort of “proof.”
I have spent a lot of time organizing this church, and I wonder if I have spent enough time realizing what/who this church is.
more unfinished thoughts to come…
Tags: church, life, the open house
Some of the nuances are different, but I understand the sentiment of your post, and it has played itself out many times in my 15 years of leadership in the church. When thinking about their core identity, most denominations (esp. big ones) confuse the lines between common corporate, common community, and common cause. Because the corporate stuff is the easiest to quantify, most of the energy goes toward it. Unfortunately, it is the stupidest point of identity and belonging. This is the world of the bureaucrats, not your world or mine.
I feel for you, buddy. Next time you are in Victoria, let’s grab a beer … unless, of course, that is against the denominations “codes of conduct” ? : )
Noticed this on your facebook and it left me with several thoughts
Define the Relationship (DtR) conversations often go awkward because we’re unsure what the other wants, how much of me to put on the line,etc. As a person who always has wanted to DTR, much to my now husband’s chagrin, I think it’s beneficial to periodically DTR.
Your logic follows that of friends who aren’t interested in marriage when they are happily living together, so I think your thought flow is familiar to most people. So it might be worth asking someone who has a covenantal theology of church, WHY?
And as someone who certainly does not know all of the ins and outs of how things work, I can make a few historical observations that there have been some church planters who pretty much were thankful for the funding and then happy to float into other relationships. They didn’t want or feel “a part of the family.” Your loyalty can’t be assumed to be in everyone’s heart.
DtRs may be enjoyed by all, but they are needed sometimes. I have a friend who was in business with a close biological family member, and they didn’t DTR in business because there was so much love and history between them. Unfortunately the business and personal relationships are now a mess.
Randy: Brilliant stuff. You are killing me with this “common community” stuff, I am very interested in learning more. Can you direct me or share some more, i think I emphasize common corporate” to “T” and Kristin (who i church plant with) is “common cause” to a “T.”
Ellen, thanks for your thoughts. Ian Buntain had shared about the history of the CCSB church plants with funding, so i know what your talking about. I also appreciate your DTR sentiments. The truth is, we have those conversations, but what ends up happening is I want a “prenup” not a marriage. the marriage is happening, but for some reason i want to make sure that we aren’t losing in the deal when people commit.