I think it’s time to vomit…
Do you ever get the feeling that your good ideas go to waste because of your execution of the idea? I sometimes think this what Jesus meant when he said don’t throw your pearls to the pigs.
“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.”
Sure literally it looks like you shouldn’t throw good ideas to people who will reject them, or not help you work through them or judge you for them, but I am thinking the pig can be my own greediness to see them come to fruition.
As I reflect (and continue to reflect) on toh over the past 2.5 years, I am asking some big questions about whether I really took the open house in the direction I really wanted to. Sometimes I think I took it in the safe familiar direction that I knew well, and made myself believe it was something new.
I am not ready to write a tonne about this now. But what I am going to do is try and work through this here on motionsickness.ca, because I think I am once again…motion sick. And if i don’t throw up soon I won’t be able to keep going…so allow me to begin this journey with vomiting on this blog.
My first vomit…I think I never really went far enough with what God was telling me, and now it is tearing me to pieces.
Tags: church, life, motion sickness, the open house, vomit
Kyle,
I appreciate your honesty in this post. I have, many time, shared my ideas with the “swine” and been discouraged when they did what they do best; trample and snort. It is important to learn who the dogs and the swine are- not always that apparent however.
I have to say that this is an interesting admission you have made. If I were to be honest, I would say that my assessment of you over the past couple years in the Open House would be “hesitant” at best. I think part of this stems from your desire to be inclusive, non-offensive, relevant, etc. At the same time, I see people coming to you with real needs, desires, pain, fears, and longing to be in a community of saints that will bind up the broken hearted…
In our attempt to walk the line of progressive, emergent and revolutionary thinking, I think we can lose the spark; the salt, the stuff of what we intend to really use to impact those around us.
God is weird…period. He is not calm, collective, and package-able. Yet we try to bring this safe God to those in need, and they really have no need for him at all…they need, and want, and long for the Living God.
I encourage you to go back to the basics, to dig deep into who you are, and more importantly, who HE IS, and WHAT HE WANTS for you, and be true to this, whatever the consequence. Luke warm churches are on the decline…even God hates them.
Listen to what He is telling you, and go do it, unfettered by the desire to please others, or be relevant. Trend is just a trend…it always will be fickle, and changing, and in a few months “uncool” when something else comes along. Learn what it means to be timeless, classic, an oldie, but a goodie.
I believe in you, and I believe God will use you. But find the heart of His purpose in calling you…don’t skirt around the edges of this kiddy pool…take the slide and go in deep.
Jake
Kyle- I’ve never thought of it this way, but I suppose you’re right: sometimes we’re our own pigs. I admired Alan Hirsch when I read his story in The Forgotten Ways, for having the courage to tear down his church and start again when he realized he had become the very thing they were against. How many people could walk away from that level of “success”? Don’t hear me wrong; I don’t think it’s time to tear down TOH, but I do think it takes both courage and integrity to admit that you’re not what God dreams of you being, and that in some ways it’s because you’ve traded the dream in for safety. I sure struggle with this. So much of what I feel called to do, what I see Jesus doing, doesn’t come with security, won’t produce much you can point at, and may not justify my continued funding. I guess what it comes down to is whether or not we trust God. It’s even harder to figure out in a heuristic setting. Have I changed my mind because I gave in or gave up, or have I actually learned and grown into dreaming something better than when I started out? I suppose, when we’re quiet, we know the truth. Glad you’re processing this online, but don’t stop there; make sure to talk this through with your leaders at TOH.
Thank you both for writing some thoughts. I tried to expand on one area that I have been rethinking stuff.
Nick: I think you are totally right about leadership and this week I am selecting a team for the first time. After much prayer and thought I may have a group to request lead with me. It seems that so much of my leadership has been in isolation.
Jake: thanks for being a great friend and for challenging me to continue to look to Jesus.
Kyle- Glad to hear it. Having some others on board with you takes a load off. I’ve been learning that accountability means more than confessing sin and struggles; it means relying on others to discern God’s voice, even to me personally and to my family. Marty was right: we really are to be priests to one another. I’ll be praying that, together, you’ll discern God’s calling and sending.
Hi Kyle,
i know that we really dont know each other that well. and also that i have only met you once. but i checked my blogreader, for the first time in a year or so. and i stumbled upon this post.
honestly, i dont know exactly what you are going through right now. and maybe this post is not hitting the spot.
lately i have also been thinking about: “did i really go far enough with what God was telling me…”. And have been really searching for answers. here is what ive learned, that may help you too?
God gives us dreams, goals, visions. Sometimes he will give you something, to see what you can make out of it.
obviously, you have to know what you want. Most importantly you have to have a vision. Write it out. Read it through daily, after quit time.
I find it also very important to picture exactly how you look like and what you are doing when you have achieved it. What are the circumstances around you, when you have achieved it? The most successful people you know, are doing this daily. Success doesn’t fall into ones lap.
If a problem or impossible situation turns up… learn to make it a chance instead of a fall. look at problems as a chance to be successful.
i hope this comment is helpful. heres a really sweet book: “monday morning choices: 12 powerful ways to go from everyday to extraordinary” – david cottrell.
all the best brother.
I know I’m several months late Kyle… but thought I’d thrown in my two cents.
First a quick caveat… I am in no position to give great advice as to HOW to do stuff. But I have learned one thing about God that I find very very very useful in understanding me and everything around me.
He is waiting for you to give up first… THEN he steps in. Until he can get 100% of the credit — God. Will. Not. Move.
Remember that in Isaiah he calls our finest acts like ‘filthy rags’ before him. Just trust him, let go and let God. The only thing that pleases him is our faith.
God bless. I know God is at work.