who determines your happiness?
I had a conversation with a friend last night who jokingly mentioned how he wondered what I did during the day.
He said it with a tone as if he thought I did nothing and got paid for it.
It really bothered me, and as I attempted to answer the question I realized it was no use and made my own joke back. But it made me wonder why it affected me so much. Do I need everyone to understand what I do in order to justify my “job” and allow myself to be content in it?
Church planting/Pastoring can be very ambiguous jobs that are hard to define, and I understand that some people in my line of work abuse it, but I can’t allow those people to drive me into a place of despair trying to justify every minute of everyday as if my secret will be found out, or my manhood taken away.
I realized that my friend was attempting to take my happiness away. What I mean is he was trying to take away what gives me life, joy, and a sense of worth in this world because he didn’t get it. And I let him do that!
What gives you joy? Can you separate your happiness from peoples expectations or understanding?
Why is it we make our happiness dependent on others perceptions, ideologies, and understandings?
My prayer is that my happiness is not dependent on others acceptance and I figure I have a long road ahead of myself.
Kyle, I know this is someting you have thought about before. And Im sorry your friend did that to you. I just want to encourage you to keep doing what your doing!! Its making a difference. You are making a difference! Bless you.
thanks Ashley, it’s an ongoing battle. i appreciate the encouragement.
Ya, I can sympathize a little Kyle. I get those sorts of questions and impressions from people sometimes too, just because I work at home and can make some decent dollars in a short period of time. And, like your scenario, our work is no less valuable or worthwhile or difficult than the next guy – just different and not as understood.
I’m not trying to compare web design with church planting. I’m just saying, we’re in these places for a reason, whether it’s because it’s what we enjoy, we see it as a good thing to be doing, or because it’s our only option. At any given time it could be one or more of those. But it’s your life which has been designed and guided by God, and you’ve only arrived there through your dependence and relationship with him. At any moment it could change, and so be it.
There’s nothing at all wrong with a life lived from a dependence on God, even if it seems unworthy by Men.
I hear ya brother!